soul ties

Three weeks ago I couldnt have given you any sort of definition as to what a "Soul Tie" is. But as I have researched over the past few weeks I have begun to understand exactly what they are and see a direct connection to them in my life.

a definition:
Two souls can be knit or made to cleave together in a covenant relationship to form healthy ties; they can also be tied or knit together to form bondage and enslavement.

So soul ties can be bad and they can be good. As I began to dive in to this in researching it online I really felt the Holy Spirit really put His anointing and approval over me that seeking out answers about this is a really good thing. I even ordered a book on it so I can go further and really be set free from the ties that hold me down and are unhealthy. I cant even imagine people that lose a healthy soul tie like losing a child of theirs or people who get a divorce like my parents who after many years of marriage still have life long soul ties they have to deal with.

I know I have soul ties and the ones that I can see clearly after understanding this are specific to my past with my physical relationship with women. There are many people of my past that I have ties to. The good outweigh the bad for sure but the bad has brought me down and it has been very hard for me at times. I desire for God to help me through that and as I understand about these soul ties I believe that God alone will show me.

an amazing surprise

So yesterday was a hard day in alot of ways personally but there was this looming surprise all day that my dad had planned to reaveal to my family. My aunt and stepmom knew too about his surpise but nobody else did. All Sarah-Wynne and I were instructed to do is go pickup my grandparents at their house and come back to Lynchburg and meet at the Blue Ridge Primary care center. When we got there my brother John and his wife Lindsay were there with her family as well. My dad led us in and said that the surprise was that all of us were going to get to see an ultrasound of John and Lindsay's new baby!!!

WOW way to go daaaaaaaad....I didnt think he could hold the surprise let alone do something this cool! haha...Lindsay had known for a few weeks too and it was awesome just all the way around. Seeing my grandparents there was awesome cause they will soon be great-grandparents! I am so hyped to be an uncle too! ....we saw every part of the baby and saw it move all around like the little sea monkey it is!

some ultrasound pics are soon to come! now off to the Bennetts Eve of the Eve Partayyyyyyyy!

thank you Jesus.

andrew claus

So yesterday I went to my Aunt Kathy's elementary school to play Santa Claus! Until she had asked me last week I had never thought or dreamed of doing it but I am so glad I did! I just got up in front of about 300 kids and read some 'shout outs' from Mrs. Claus and encoraged them to have a safe Christmas! I think Santa definitely needs to visit SuperCuts before Christmas Eve.

yeaaaa John boy!

Today in Quantico, Virginia my crazy amazing brother John graduated from Officer Candidate School!!!! I am so flippin proud of him. He has accomplished so much and done it all with excellence and it just makes me so honored to be his brother! yeaaaaaaaaa John boy!!!!

a new direction

So yesterday at 3:30pm I thought I was attending an end of the semester departmental meeting for Sports Video but what I walked in to was a meeting with our Deputy Athletic Director, a rep from Human Resources, and my boss. They told me they were letting me go ..without cause. Its still a shock to me that it has happened. The only basic reasoning that I can infer from this is that my boss and I had our differences and worked through alot but it became too much for him to undertake in his opinion and he decided to let me go. Honestly I will never know exactly why because they cant tell me by law why I was let go. I look back on times where I stood up for injustice around the office with our students and can see that those times could have been seen as defiant but over the past couple months i thought things were going just fine. We had talked through those times where I needed to step up my learning of computer software or to have a better attitude around the office and I saw steady improvement but in the end he saw for me to go. Students that work for us even told me over the past couple days that they do not feel that this is right but they dont have the final say.

The one thing I do know is that God is sovereign. He has a plan for my life and a plan to prosper me. A good friend put in a great verse for me tonight:

'being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ' -Phil 1:6

He is working in this and HE will continue to never leave me in any second of this. I put all my hope in that.

Just before my meeting yesterday where I found out this information I had just wrote an email to Athletes in Action to revisit things with them. My dad and I had a great conversation tonight about where to go from here. He has helped me out tremendously although he can talk for hours upon hours : ). I press on to explore a new chapter in my life. I dont think that is here in town but I press on to know His will and to know where to go from here on out. As I go forward the idea of STINTing (going abroad with AIA for 1-2 years) is more and more attractive.

My heart beats and longs to share life with someone but my dad reminded me tonight that I need to offer stability and security to anyone that would be a part of my life. Right now I cant offer that when I cant see very far down the road and I dont have a ton in savings. Who I spend my life with is really the only hesitation I have upon applying but I need to put my desires at the foot of the cross and I am learning how to do that every day. I press on.


Trusting in Jesus...

glass of water

an excerpt of an amazing new song, glass of water , from Coldplay's new mini album. def worth downloading.

the face of Jesus Christ

even though its so late I had to share this....i just had to write....

so I thought tonight was going to be normal...took some laundry...a book...and some free time down to a laundromat about 5 minutes from my apartment. I met a guy down there. We will call him 'B'...obviously homeless...but he helped around the place by putting away trash and cleaning up from time to time. He was in pain...mental pain...he stuttered quite often...His memory lasted 10 seconds...He really couldnt even pronounce his own name but Jesus was there with us. It was just him and I in there. We shared some fast food...we laughed even a few times...at the end of the night he even asked me to pray for Him...and God was there....moving in him and his confusion and brokenness...

What I know is amazing about God is that He has given me a new heart for the 'least of these'. Jesus could have chosen to identify with any demographic of people but he chose the less fortunate...the poor..the people who are in the toughest spot of their lives...'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me' ( Matt 25:40) To be honest I would have never stopped and talked to a person like this a year and a half ago....I just thought I wasnt 'called' to that but thats not it at all. We are all commanded to love...without any bias...any judgment...no precondition....

I credit so much of my new found love for people in life to the ministry I was involved with last year in Fort Lauderdale..called Lovebags... (lovebags.org). These people showed me what its like to love...to touch....to embrace...to offer your everything for the least of these....to not care about how you smell when you come away from hanging out with homeless people for a couple hours....to sit next to them and put your arm around them tonight even if they reek of alcohol( I got a few hugs from my new found friend 'B' tonight!)..to really focus on loving with all that God has made you and push through the parts that feel uncomfortable and press on to know Him through love...and there in that love you find the very face of Jesus Christ...





listening to 'With Everything' - Hillsong from the This Is Our God Album

the future

shewwwwwweee...the future...

what does God hold for us? Well I think we find that out through our obedience to Him. I know that sounds simplistic but I really do feel that His will unfolds as we seek him in obedience. In true obedience to God all other things fade...not that desires are erased but what matters most is obedience in the here and now. I trust in Proverbs 3:5-6..

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths

For me it has been an interesting ride here so far in northern Florida. I still feel the desire to reach the nations for Christ in ministry. My heart longs to build in to others on not just a whenever basis but I want that to be my everyday. Now whether that is on a campus or being fully immersed in a foreign country I am not sure. There is a serious desire to leave this country because of the need/suffering/desire I have seen in this world from traveling in the past. I am single now and maybe that is a sign from the Lord to just leave for 1-2 years and go abroad where I have had some amazing experiences in the past with AIA tours and other mission trips. As I write this now is a yearning in my heart for God to show me where to go.

I know for the time being God's will is right here in Tallahassee. I pray that in the darkness of my current vocational environment Jesus shines so bright...because its not all about making teams successful through video its about showing people that there is a Savior and His name is Jesus....I pray I make that known through the example that I live out.

travels, concerts, soccer

a free Lupe Fiasco show at homecoming...def a good show!

In Auburn with our Women's soccer team for NCAA's. They let me play in practice the night before our first game! I held my own at left center back! yeeeeeeeehaw

Just a funny picture the guys made last year at the Dolphins! Those guys be crazaaaay!

pictures from the past few weeks

my Dad and I with the Francis Wayles Eppes statue at FSU (Oct. 25)

Myself, Dad, Mike, Teresa, and Jake in front of Wescott on gameday.
It was so great to have those Hokies in for a couple days!

FSU vs Virginia Tech pregame

Downtown Atlanta backdrop over Bobby Dodd Stadium at Georgia Tech

FSU vs. Georgia Tech pregame (Nov. 1)

More pictures will come as the fall progresses. I sure do miss Virginia in the fall because the season changing down here is just temperature and no leaves fallin.

Lets be praying for President-Elect Obama and all other elected officials...
I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. - 1 Timothy 2:1-2

I am going to be an UNCLE!!

My sister-in-law Lindsay is PREGNANT! YES! ...ahh this is awesome!

i found out a couple weeks ago but I just didnt think about blogging it until last night! Wow this is about the greatest news of the year! I am excited to pray for this baby and just be a part of this process. I have seen how other families get so hype when there brother or sister is sharing in this time of having a baby. I hope I can be in Virginia for the birth!

Lindsay is about 3 months pregnant and the baby is due around May 16 which is my Grandma Dot's birthday! And she said sex of the baby wont be announced until the time of the birth. Just soooooooooo hype about this!

And my brother John who is in Officer Candidate School in Quantico, Virginia for the Marine Corps just called me on Saturday to just share on his time there and also we just got crazy excited about this baby coming along. Pray for him because in Lindsay's pregnancy he wont be able to spend a ton of time with her due to his duties with the Marines.

so pray it up for the health of this baby...and for just added strength to John and Lindsay's marriage in this time apart...

UNNNCLE DREWWWWWW YEAAAAAA

ATL

the best part of my job other than the ability to invest in the lives of student athletes is the ability to travel. I went back to Fetzer Field at UNC on Thursday where I have had several great memories....I then flew outa RDU to Atlanta to meet our football team Friday for our football game. Friday night I was fortunate to see one of my favorite techno DJ's... DJ Sasha. It was an incredible set and definately a crowd that was crazy cause it was Halloween(and I was one of about 5 who were not dressed up for the holiday). . I was there by myself which was alright but it was largely due to the fact that I still dont know many people here at FSU and it was an expensive concert. I really wish I would have had someone or some friends to go with because it would have been alot more fun.

Atlanta was very fun...other than the loss...you just hate to see a team get within seconds of winning a game and then throw it all away on the goaline.

But the most amazing part of the weekend was on Friday night. I left the concert early and decided to walk home(about a mile and a half)...little did I know but I would run in to some great people. I met several homeless guys on the way back ranging in various ages from young to the very old. I talked to them and most importantly listened to them... As I walked back to our team hotel I actually looked forward to running in to some guys and loving on them. Working with the homeless here in Tallahassee and last year in Fort Lauderdale has really opened my heart up in ways where I never thought possible.

One encounter with an old man named Rudy left me really in awe of who God was. This guy was in a wheelchair hungry and cold but we opened up about our amazing God. And as I was speaking to Rudy I just realized the simple fact that Rudy and I will one day see each other again in Paradise. I know that may sound simple but that fact just blew me away. Rudy is in pain and suffering but he will one day be in no more pain...he will be with Jesus... and as we sat and talked we just laughed with joy over how great our God is...thank you Jesus for bearing the weight of this sinful world to make it possible for us to have eternal life...Rudy and myself...together...in Paradise with you Lord....sooo flippin awesome



Currently reading: 'Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ' - by John Piper.... one AMAZING BOOK! its a really quick book but its packed with some amazing stuff

speaking at Crusade - Part 2

I know that I made the point that the night at Crusade was big for me. I opened up about some stuff that sat inside me for a long time and really weighed me down...stuff that even people that I was great friends and teammates with didnt know.... But over the past 6 months God has given me incredible victory when I have just been real and opened up to guys in my life and not been afraid of what I look like because in God's truth I am covered by his grace and not shame any longer. I was even so scared in my process to apply with Athletes in Action about my past because it honestly wasnt the greatest but I just need to be real and never ashamed of who I am now. I now embrace that I am a new creation and with that comes the deeper embrace of the person I once was.

He has shown His comfort and Grace in the most intimate ways...and thats what He is all about...showing His forgiveness.

As I sit here tonight in Tallahassee I just take things one day at a time...I take the frustrations of my job and lift them up to God...I take the desires of my heart and future and lift the up to hands of the Potter....God just make me in to the man you want me to be....Jesus I am yours...

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written:
"Be holy, because I am holy".
-1 Peter 1:13-16

speaking at Crusade (download link)

So this past week I was privileged to speak at Campus Crusade for Christ here at FSU. It went so well. It was a big night for me as I discussed myself and the way I used to be before truly abandoning myself for the sake of following Christ.

You can download the podcast from that night of Crusade.... go to FSU Crusade's website and click on the link for leftovers and it will launch itunes and just download the last episode where you see my name.

You gotta love technology...always and forever...

what a weekend

This past weekend was awesome...awesome because of the fellowship I had with a couple friends that I had not seen in a few years. I think its amazing how the body of Christ can come together at any time in any place and with obedience to Christ pick up right where the friendships left off.

From Athletes in Action's ultimate camp with these two friends way back in 2004 to countless great times in Winston these friendships were built. This weekend not about a football game for me but a weekend where God displayed his amazing faithfulness. He provided a reunion of people that I have been there with through some of my favorite moments in life.

Thank you Ashley and Mary for such a great weekend...

and as for the game Wake rolls over FSU for a third straight year in a row...........wow the tide has turned on FSU football.

conforming my will to His

I feel like sometimes so of my posts talk about the same theme of God taking me apart to build me back up but I think thats what being a follower of Christ is all about.

Lately some of life has been really tough...

To be blunt and to the point I really miss Morgan. I miss not being a part of her life at all. Maybe I am in her thinking but its hard to think about big things in her life happening and I just not being a part of it. Whether is a huge blessing on hearing from God about what she is called to do or if there is a death in the family and its hard to process it or anything else it just hurts to know that Im not there to help or share in the experience. I ache to share that one day. I dream of a day where everything is restored between us and we are opened to His grace in a whole new way. I pray that God's will is done between us whatever that may be. My heart is sick over this hope of being with her and it has been for the past year and a half when I really started to pursue God in the area of relationships. Proverbs 13:12 describes best my heart:

'Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life'

... No matter the season that God is taking me through I do not waver I know I have to press on and keep going in Christ. It is the only thing that I can do.

I desire nothing but to be faithful to where God has called me to go now. It does not make it easy that I am pushing through times of just trying to see the Lord's will especially when it comes to Morgan. I want to be a 'man' and say I just push right through all of this but right now I am so weak. Physically weak from working 70-80 hours a week...weak from crying out to God and seeing my plans continually fade(which they need to fade)...weak from not getting enough sleep...weak from the process of conforming my will to Gods...just weak.

Lord God, I ask you to meet me...help me understand how your strength is made perfect in weakness....amen

proud of my dad

Sorry there has been a long time between posts. I hope that this infrequent blogging hasnt deterred people from checking the blog.

Anyways I wanted to share an article about my dad becoming the President of the Medical Society of Virginia. Its a huge honor for him and a testimony that you can gain a platform for Jesus through hard work and consistent service towards others.

Dr. Eppes to become President of the Medical Society of Virginia

living to impact

The church I have been attending here has started a series called 'LiveToImpact.tv' with the website and everything. Today they talked about what it means to really impact this world with the commandment sharing your faith.

Jesus gives it to us clear to 'Go and preach to all nations..'...we must GO. Its a commandment and not just something we do from time to time. If there is no fear in this you are not human because this is what really develops your faith when you test it and try it.

I was convicted on several levels in the sermon including being focused in my pursuit of people and making relationships a priority here at FSU. I have found a few guys I can really start making that investment in and now its time to pursue and really seek to develop our communication about God.

Secondly, am I really making an effort to get to know our culture here in Tallahassee and really contextualize the gospel in to a way that people can understand it. I want this blog to be clear about my profession and conviction of living a life where its evident I am following Jesus but I want people to see it in a clear way. The pastor delivering the message talked of the character Angela form The Office and the point that she is very stuck up at times regarding her faith(not to mention her character is extremely hypocritical). But we cant be weird when it comes to Jesus. We gotta be real and talk of how evident and real He is in today's world. We have to live our relationships out loud and pray for the example we set as believers to scream salvation/redemption/forgiveness/grace/love/hope/ect....

'Years from now when we are telling our grandkids how we impacted this world will we tell them we spent hours on Facebook or that we have memorized hundreds of sports stats or that we watched great tv shows?' -Pastor Ross

...I pray that each of you reading this changes the way you have been doing things. We have to fight through this laziness and distraction that this world offers us and call upon the Spirit that doesnt make hesitant but bold.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity but one of power, love, and self-discipline.
-2 Timothy 1:7

flat out...I Love Jesus

I love Jesus so much....there is power that resides in Him....and its amazing to feel and know that He is soooo real...

this post sounds rambled and random probably but thats all I got tonight really....I love Him...He loves me....He went to death on a cross for me and that blows my freakin mind. He laid all of it down so that I might live. And you know what there is nothing that can separate me from that love...not one thing at all ever ever ever.

the words of Paul hit it perfectly....

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord
Romans 8:38-39

the gift of life

"And the LORD God formed man out of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." -Genesis 2:7


my friends from my time in Vail, Erin and Kevin Daly, just had their first baby(Asher Kai Daly)...how amazing is our God to give us life...and now He has chosen this boy to have life...just blows my mind to know that He has given us so much just with the simple blessing of bringing us in to his world

Brandon Heath and Batman

I was talking with my friend today Brandon Heath Knell about obedience. Its something we do, something we are, something we fight for. I told Brandon today that his music displays that to me. Its pretty awesome to know that along with his fame he still takes time for solid friendships and to encourage me and gives me a chance to let me know what God is revealing to Him in his walk.

We talked about a song that is one of my favs on the new album coming out on August 18 (go get it!!!! its called 'What If We') called 'When I'm Alone'. Its about needing Christ in all times but how we feel the need for Christ especially when we are alone and really trying to become the person God wants us to be. I know that in this time of living by myself here I need to make great decisions for Christ and I need to obey but at times I'm scared even though I know of the reward of faithfulness. I just ache to be with Christ....ache for everything to make sense.

I know this suffering of living alone and being in a new place is God working in me...For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. -2 Cor. 1:5 How crazy is that that the more we suffer the more we are comforted...its a call to continue despite pain, awkwardness, rejection...to press on. And I dont claim to be the most radical person for Christ in my sufferings but I am seeing that I need to embrace this suffering and push through it to obtain a reward greater than any other, for in Christ Jesus I am satisfied and this life is not lived in vain for He has washed me clean and declared me righteous.

I listened to a John Piper sermon on my drive down last week that talked about a huge problem with American Christians is that we do not embrace suffering for Christ as we should...as in we always look for a quick fix or other way out to ease the pain and not embrace the true suffering that Christ has intended for us to go through. I am at fault for that but now I am truly finding the ways to endure the cost of being a follower of Jesus. It was another reminder to me to continue to grow in Christ and embrace this life He has given me that I completely 100% do not deserve.

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I saw the new Batman today with my friend Jason Boothe who I interned with down in Miami with the Dolphins. There were a few Christian themes that caught my eye such as Batman taking the blame even though He did nothing wrong and making himself a sacrifice for Gotham. Also there was a line that said “Sometimes people need to have their faith rewarded” but in this movie it was faith in a lie. It still strikes me as the world searching for a savior...and hello worrrrrld He exiiiiiists His name is Jeeeeeesus. I know its a movie and it would be crazy to just tie the end in to a great gospel presentation but I pray for the people that watch this and still search for a reason to live and a reason to believe something.

John 14:6
I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

in Tallahassee

shewwww...after 2 days of driving I am here in Florida again safely...thank you all who prayed over my travel...its another feeling where I know I am outside whats comfortable to me...not to mention its so hot in my apartment! Just one AC unit that doesnt crank out much.

I met my boss today, Campo, and he showed me around Doak Campbell. Its really a great atmosphere and should be a great place to work facilities wise.

Last night I spent the night with Samkon Kaltho Gado. What an amazing friend God has blessed me with in Him. He is truly one of those people that I could go months without seeing but we see each other and we connect instantly in the most true form of fellowship. There arent many guys that I can say that about. Sam and I were privileged to meet one another in fellowship last year while both of us were with the Dolphins. We talked about this last night and will continue to do so forever that it was such an amazing time for us to have one another in South Florida along with the other guys in Tuff, Abraham, and Rod. We locked arms and went to battle together and really experienced a true piece of heaven together in fellowship.

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One plug I forgot to mention about my trip to Kansas City is my trip to IHOP. Not your regular ihop but the International House of Prayer....where they have LIVE praise and worship 24/7...seriously it was incredible to go. I went with a guy who used to be a Christian Counselor of mine named Ken Banks. In fact right now they are praising God in song and I am watching it live on the internet. For $10 a month you can have video streamed live to you of the worship whether its 1pm on Tuesday or 4am on Saturday they are praising God in song!!!....just amazing not to mention when I was there last week I saw a great friend Erica Grimaldi who was on my SPECIAL team at Ultimate Camp during the 2004 summer. Erica played basketball at Vanderbilt and was a baller! She has just returned from 10 months in Africa and is praying about what to do next. Lift her up please...

I will be trying out two new churches tomorrow so I must be getting some rest...



Jesus you are so good to me...I dont deserve this grace at all

I trust you Lord...

tonight was all over the map.

God gave myself and my fellowship here in town a powerful last night of prayer and surrender as we prayed for nearly 40 minutes for God to be in our lives and requests in crazy spirit-filled ways. Our amazing God showed up in a tremendous way and I know we walked out of that house changed by the living God.

On the other side of town my step mom Cathy is struggling through a group intervention where her pride and lack of trust in Christ to carry the burden of her past weighs her down in to a deep dark place of pain and alcoholism....it hurts me so deep to see someone struggle in this but its a crystal clear example of what happens when we resist taking the yoke of Christ. So as of Sunday she will be moving to our family condo just 5 minutes away from our house now...God we cry out to you to break down the walls in her heart and help her cry out to you....

It hurts me to see my dad going through this but we both reach the same point at the end of tonight...God has a plan for this...He chose us...and He will not leave us...ever.
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The past couple weeks have been tough and amazing at the same time. I go through anxieties and worrying but God just calms my heart and lets me know He is here and my portion...I reach deep and uncover sin thats been in the dark for a long time and God helps me to confess it and gives me an incredible and gracious response. God has been showing up in my life and I praise Him for it....Lord you are sooo real...so amazing. So many examples in the past few weeks: encouragement from countless people at the Littleton wedding including John Hardie, Kevin, Hoss and Emily, Ray Littleton, Cam Young...and then God having a sister in Christ overhear my conversation about God's love to someone on a flight last week and then after handing a couple verses from Romans 8 she looks at me in the face and tells me I am in God's favor.....brothers and sisters our God is REAL...

Cry out to Him tonight...shout it out if you have to but just get it out...let it all come forth to give Him glory because He so freakin deserves it.

Amazing King help me to praise you in every single season/day/moment of my life....you are worthy...you are Lord.



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finally an encouragement from God's word by my brother John Michael Payette tonight:

Galatians 6:7-9
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

pictures

Here are some pictures over the past few weeks of my life...they are in reverse order as far as the time sequence....enjoy




Fireworks to close the amazing night after the reception at the Littleton's wedding.

ooooh just a 3 hour dance party at the reception

The Littletons

Matt and Emily Hostetler at Kevin Littleton's wedding! such a great couple..they are living in Providence now...
The one and only Cam Young in Kansas City of all places!!!!


Mom and Clif driving their new boat!Cookin out at Marvin Key on July 4
Wynnie taking a nap with her pillow at the LAY Z Boy store before DMB

south florida...amelia...kansas city

Current Location: Lenexa, Kansas

my time in South Florida was great....from the reunion with brothers and sisters in Fort Lauderdale to 4th of July at Marvin Key to crackin coconuts in the backyard to hangin out with Mom and Clif to time with the Burris' the time was great. I wish the time could have lasted longer but my life seems to be stuck in fast forward at the moment as time as I quickly approach the move to Tallahassee. Last night I was with my grandparents in Amelia, Virginia and couldnt have asked for a better time. Today was the second consecutive day I was up before sunrise as we drove to Richmond to fly to Kevin Littletons wedding in Kansas City this weekend.

Tonight a great friend from my 2006 missions/holiday trip to Germany with Athletes in Action, Cameron Young, happens to be in Kansas City for this week on business from China. He is one of my best friends and a true follower of Christ. Infact the Coldplay lyrics and screams from our car ride home still are echoing in my head....

Over the past week though God has rocked my world. He has helped me dive in to a depth with Him like never before. He continues to amaze me with how real He is in every part of my life and how He fights for me to be with Him and spend my every thought in Him. My mind is a part of me that is really being transformed at the moment. Jason Burris asked how to pray for me the other night and I just said three words: depth...for me to throw myself at Christ in a way to experience incredible depth and intimacy...focus...for me to stay fixed on Jesus(Heb 12:1) and really live for Him in all I do with purpose....and lastly fellowship...to really know that God has this planned for me in Tallahassee and seek the most intimate and real fellowship I can find there..fellowship that will stretch me, challenge me, make me unconfortable of where I am to strive for more of who God is.

I will be posting pics soon of my USA tour...

pressing on...

my sister

try imagining a love so great that when it experiencing it you feel like you understand more of life and why God has created us the way He has....this is the type of love I feel for my sister.

through a conversation tonight between my family i realized so much more about my sister. the conversation had a large part to do with her and where she spends next year....but i really saw way beyond that. I saw her step up and be a woman....one of maturity...one of character...one of love...

my sister has been through so much. so much more than i could have ever have imagined her going through in this life especially when it comes to the complexity of our family situation but i really see her rise above all challenges that come her way with Christ. She is amazing in Him...she is growing in Him and banking on Him being the God He claims to be....that to me makes me weep because she gets it....she trusts Him.

As I was riding in the car tonight with her one the way to dinner with her and I just couldnt help but feel the depth of pain for us to go through parting again soon....it pains my heart and tears flow from my face as I write this and think of leaving this amazing woman that God has allowed to be my sister. Its hard to leave when you dont know the next time you will see her....it hurts my heart every time I think about it....every single time. I dont like it at all.

I am so proud of her....proud of who she is and who she is becoming. God has created an amazing woman in Sarah-Wynne Breckenridge Eppes. I know we are not promised any length of time together beyond this second but I just look forward to the next few days and I just praise our most glorious King tonight for creating something so incredibly beautiful in my sister...

I love you so much Wynnie....so freakin much...I am so so so soooo blessed to have you as my sister...

pressin on

People have asked me lately, "Are you excited to start your job?"....honestly that question really takes some thought. I know this is where God has me to go in His will right now but there are still some 'what if ...' thoughts. Thoughts of what if I would be in a relationship right now right now or what if Athletes in Action would have accepted me in March. I know this is something I need to die to daily and pursue Christ on the road to Tallahassee but at times it doesnt come that easy.

My heart though is moving forward and growing in its acceptance of God's will and realizing there is so much opportunity to serve Him in the here and now. I used to tell other people this..'everyday is the most important day of your walk with Christ'...now that it something that I feel like I am really trying to apply. There have been many days of heartache....there are many days where I wish I was just raising support for Athletes in Action but I press on...but with this job in Tallahassee God has given me an amazing opportunity to seek and serve Him and so I press on in that. SO when people are asking me now if I am excited about my job I tell them I am more excited to impact people and build relationships there than the actual job because after all I am there to make a difference for Jesus Christ....to tell people of His amazing story and His love for each and every one of us through the cross. I am so looking forward to meeting coaches and administrators and student-athletes with every relationship forged with an opportunity available to give glory to God and share His truth. God's vision is much bigger than mine for my ministry to others in Tallahassee but I go with the faith that God will show up in huge ways through obedience and supplication to Him.

I am excited about this journey to Florida again because I will be taking it with many of you all. If you are checking and reading this blog then that for sure tells me you care about me in an extraordinary way. I thank all of you for reading even if its just 1,2, or 15 people. I pray that you all feel comfortable leaving comments and thoughts but even if you just read it means the world to me. Thanks for the incredible support each one of you gives me on a daily basis....

holla back

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me
- Philippians's 3:12

wedding day

I went to Jarod's wedding today...a college roommate from bridgewater...it was a small and quaint wedding. I was blessed to see several people from college some of which I had not even seen since graduation I think. But the one thing it really did was it encouraged me to stay focused and continue to press on worship God where I am now in life.

Its something I struggle with at times. Going to weddings and becoming frustrated that I'm not there with the person I want to be there with. The prideful part of me says 'God what are you doing? I mean I have it more together than this dude or this girl'...but thats not it at all. God is refining me and teaching me so much that now thats the last thought in my head. Sure I want to be married someday and share my life with someone but right now I need to focus on loving Christ and letting Him be enough for me. One day I might be married and one day my body wouldnt be mine anymore but I still need to cling to Christ for everything. There are ways that my future spouse, if God wills that to happen, will never be able to provide and I need to grow with Him now and learn how to hold on to Him through all circumstances....

the verse that sums up my past few weeks and really what God is teaching me now is Psalm 73:26:

My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

that last word...forever...is Christ really my portion forever? well thats my aim and I seek Him knowing He can fulfill every need I will ever have...


God...thank you so much...please let me let you be enough....amen

dr. qvosac

I visited my great friend Jon Small 2 weeks ago in Philly. I came to his class as an eastern european man and you can call me for full details but this picture may describe it a little better....this is Dr. Qvosac...

no title yet...

I dont have a title yet for this blog as Im just trying to think of one. For the last few weeks I have just been inspired to blog from the suggestions of others and that this is a place where I find myself really able to express what is truly on my heart as I seek to bring God glory with this life he has given me....

I want to be real with this blog...I want people to see the true me and nothing less....