board meetings

So I read a devotional last week that really hit home. I think it was a sign of what God wanted me to in the week following it so I really sought the guidance of this devo when it spoke of really organizing your life like a CEO would. You are the CEO of your life but you need a great group of board members to guide your company. So I called a bunch of guys last week just sharing my heart and life. And as I thought last week between thoughts of desiring 'stability' in my life I just came to the conclusion that its not really about pursuing stability but pursuing God himself.

I desire stability for the thought of providing that for someone else in my life. I know that life is never about money but if I was to get things going with someone in my life then stability financially would be a must to have on the offering table. I want to have that now but I think God is teaching me more by pursuing Him. Stability will come through our walk with the Lord. He will provide. We must trust that He knows our heart but its a must that we lay our desires and hearts at his feet. I dont need anything else in life other than Christ...not one thing...

The hardest part is putting my dreams of being married and dreams of sharing life with someone at the foot of the Cross. Its really interesting how in once sense you know that God desires to prosper you and give you hope but there is a huge part of me that thinks I can do this part of life on my own and really just to pursue the route that would get me what I want quicker.

All this comes as I wait to hear about a one year STINT with AIA in South Africa. If accepted I would support raise and then aim to leave in Sept. 2009 for one year. If not accepted then I would look to get back in to football most likely.

A verse that really give more meaning now as I look at it is Proverbs 13:12....'hope deffered makes the heart sick..but when desire comes it is a tree of life'.

I press on to meet God and share with Him my specific dreams...after all He aches to hear from His children and we need to go through this life sharing each dream with Him along the way but in the end I desire His will most of all...

Rick Warren's Inauguration Prayer

I was very proud of Pastor Rick Warren taking a great step in his life and accepting the opportunity to pray at the inauguration of President Obama.
Proverbs 22:29 says:
Do you see a man who excels in his work?
He will stand before kings;
He will not stand before unknown men.

I was reminded of this verse as I heard He was going to be praying today. Pastor Rick has surely excelled in his work and I think this is a direct blessing from God that he was able to pray in front of millions of people and talk about God's glory and might. You could hear the passion in his prayer to God, you could hear his personal cry to how God changed his life, and you could hear Rick's love for the first family as he named each one. This was just an amazing day all the way around but my highlight had to be Pastor Rick's prayer.

the economy and obama

I havent really felt the economic downturn until the past couple weeks. I have been searching for a job and have not found but just a couple jobs in the food service business that are hiring. It is very frustrating but I press on. I really rest in the desire that God has placed in my life to go abroad and really impact the world through sport.

I have even ventured out to charlottesville this past week to find work. As I was there just a couple days ago I really saw God at work as He provided a great friend who offered me a place to stay for any length of time rent free. God's faithfulness is really all around me and not just in specific instances like that. I think that I need to be more thankful for what I have right now. Even jobless I have so much that I know I do not deserve one bit. In fact most people reading this have more than they need in life. Now that I recognize that how do I need to live differently. Should we give more away when we get to a point like this? More time, more money, more of our freedom?

Tomorrow our great country will swear in President-Elect Obama. I think this is an amazing time in our country and I do believe it is a time of promise for social progress. I just am a bit sick of the Bush-bashing that has gone along with this change of power because even amoungst several difficulties there was alot of resolve shown in his 8 years in office. My sister is actually up there for the inaugrauration and I am so proud that she has taken the opportunity to go and be a part of this. She is with a young leaders program that has been formed to put the kids in front of alot of great speakers and even celebrate tomorrow night at one of the inaugural balls. Her specific ball is located in the National Air and Space Musem! How amazing is that? I will hopefully post some of her pictures soon that she will be bringing back.

updates and thoughts

After a 2+ year hiatus from Facebook I have decided to return. So far its been great getting back in touch with some old friends and also having the ability to easily communicate with friends all over the planet. Its insane the number of people married now...but i guess the mid 20's is about that time.

I have been job hunting lately. The more I hunt the more I see of how much a blessing it was to actually have a job. So many places are in a hiring freeze...even FSU is one. But I trust in so much more than the job market or a faulty economy. Jesus is the ultimate source of life and fulfillment. I know that will never change. Its actually a gut check time for a lot of people I am sure to see where they really put their hope and confidence.

So I have applied to go abroad to South Africa with Athletes in Action. I should hear back within the month I hope. I just feel this call to make a difference in something so much bigger than myself. I think I am just understanding more of what God has intended us to be: the salt and light of the world. I am so humbled that God chose to give me life and an amazing opportunity to praise Him and bring glory to His name....and bringing Glory to Him is ultimately why we all have come to this earth. Thank you thank you thank you Lord....

prayers for Cathy

Over the past couple days my stepmom has taken a big turn for the worse. There is just a ton of bondage tearing her life apart from alcohol to a very intense personality disorder. Its so hard to watch her struggle but I continue to believe that God can tear down these walls that are up around her heart.

there is hope from the word...

It shall come to pass in the day the LORD gives you rest from your sorrow, and from your fear and the hard bondage in which you were made to serve
- Isaiah 14:3

we must never stop believing in what Christ has and will continue to accomplish! thank you in advance for any prayers lifted up on Cathy's behalf

soul ties

Three weeks ago I couldnt have given you any sort of definition as to what a "Soul Tie" is. But as I have researched over the past few weeks I have begun to understand exactly what they are and see a direct connection to them in my life.

a definition:
Two souls can be knit or made to cleave together in a covenant relationship to form healthy ties; they can also be tied or knit together to form bondage and enslavement.

So soul ties can be bad and they can be good. As I began to dive in to this in researching it online I really felt the Holy Spirit really put His anointing and approval over me that seeking out answers about this is a really good thing. I even ordered a book on it so I can go further and really be set free from the ties that hold me down and are unhealthy. I cant even imagine people that lose a healthy soul tie like losing a child of theirs or people who get a divorce like my parents who after many years of marriage still have life long soul ties they have to deal with.

I know I have soul ties and the ones that I can see clearly after understanding this are specific to my past with my physical relationship with women. There are many people of my past that I have ties to. The good outweigh the bad for sure but the bad has brought me down and it has been very hard for me at times. I desire for God to help me through that and as I understand about these soul ties I believe that God alone will show me.

an amazing surprise

So yesterday was a hard day in alot of ways personally but there was this looming surprise all day that my dad had planned to reaveal to my family. My aunt and stepmom knew too about his surpise but nobody else did. All Sarah-Wynne and I were instructed to do is go pickup my grandparents at their house and come back to Lynchburg and meet at the Blue Ridge Primary care center. When we got there my brother John and his wife Lindsay were there with her family as well. My dad led us in and said that the surprise was that all of us were going to get to see an ultrasound of John and Lindsay's new baby!!!

WOW way to go daaaaaaaad....I didnt think he could hold the surprise let alone do something this cool! haha...Lindsay had known for a few weeks too and it was awesome just all the way around. Seeing my grandparents there was awesome cause they will soon be great-grandparents! I am so hyped to be an uncle too! ....we saw every part of the baby and saw it move all around like the little sea monkey it is!

some ultrasound pics are soon to come! now off to the Bennetts Eve of the Eve Partayyyyyyyy!

thank you Jesus.

andrew claus

So yesterday I went to my Aunt Kathy's elementary school to play Santa Claus! Until she had asked me last week I had never thought or dreamed of doing it but I am so glad I did! I just got up in front of about 300 kids and read some 'shout outs' from Mrs. Claus and encoraged them to have a safe Christmas! I think Santa definitely needs to visit SuperCuts before Christmas Eve.

yeaaaa John boy!

Today in Quantico, Virginia my crazy amazing brother John graduated from Officer Candidate School!!!! I am so flippin proud of him. He has accomplished so much and done it all with excellence and it just makes me so honored to be his brother! yeaaaaaaaaa John boy!!!!

a new direction

So yesterday at 3:30pm I thought I was attending an end of the semester departmental meeting for Sports Video but what I walked in to was a meeting with our Deputy Athletic Director, a rep from Human Resources, and my boss. They told me they were letting me go ..without cause. Its still a shock to me that it has happened. The only basic reasoning that I can infer from this is that my boss and I had our differences and worked through alot but it became too much for him to undertake in his opinion and he decided to let me go. Honestly I will never know exactly why because they cant tell me by law why I was let go. I look back on times where I stood up for injustice around the office with our students and can see that those times could have been seen as defiant but over the past couple months i thought things were going just fine. We had talked through those times where I needed to step up my learning of computer software or to have a better attitude around the office and I saw steady improvement but in the end he saw for me to go. Students that work for us even told me over the past couple days that they do not feel that this is right but they dont have the final say.

The one thing I do know is that God is sovereign. He has a plan for my life and a plan to prosper me. A good friend put in a great verse for me tonight:

'being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ' -Phil 1:6

He is working in this and HE will continue to never leave me in any second of this. I put all my hope in that.

Just before my meeting yesterday where I found out this information I had just wrote an email to Athletes in Action to revisit things with them. My dad and I had a great conversation tonight about where to go from here. He has helped me out tremendously although he can talk for hours upon hours : ). I press on to explore a new chapter in my life. I dont think that is here in town but I press on to know His will and to know where to go from here on out. As I go forward the idea of STINTing (going abroad with AIA for 1-2 years) is more and more attractive.

My heart beats and longs to share life with someone but my dad reminded me tonight that I need to offer stability and security to anyone that would be a part of my life. Right now I cant offer that when I cant see very far down the road and I dont have a ton in savings. Who I spend my life with is really the only hesitation I have upon applying but I need to put my desires at the foot of the cross and I am learning how to do that every day. I press on.


Trusting in Jesus...