speaking at Crusade (download link)

So this past week I was privileged to speak at Campus Crusade for Christ here at FSU. It went so well. It was a big night for me as I discussed myself and the way I used to be before truly abandoning myself for the sake of following Christ.

You can download the podcast from that night of Crusade.... go to FSU Crusade's website and click on the link for leftovers and it will launch itunes and just download the last episode where you see my name.

You gotta love technology...always and forever...

what a weekend

This past weekend was awesome...awesome because of the fellowship I had with a couple friends that I had not seen in a few years. I think its amazing how the body of Christ can come together at any time in any place and with obedience to Christ pick up right where the friendships left off.

From Athletes in Action's ultimate camp with these two friends way back in 2004 to countless great times in Winston these friendships were built. This weekend not about a football game for me but a weekend where God displayed his amazing faithfulness. He provided a reunion of people that I have been there with through some of my favorite moments in life.

Thank you Ashley and Mary for such a great weekend...

and as for the game Wake rolls over FSU for a third straight year in a row...........wow the tide has turned on FSU football.

conforming my will to His

I feel like sometimes so of my posts talk about the same theme of God taking me apart to build me back up but I think thats what being a follower of Christ is all about.

Lately some of life has been really tough...

To be blunt and to the point I really miss Morgan. I miss not being a part of her life at all. Maybe I am in her thinking but its hard to think about big things in her life happening and I just not being a part of it. Whether is a huge blessing on hearing from God about what she is called to do or if there is a death in the family and its hard to process it or anything else it just hurts to know that Im not there to help or share in the experience. I ache to share that one day. I dream of a day where everything is restored between us and we are opened to His grace in a whole new way. I pray that God's will is done between us whatever that may be. My heart is sick over this hope of being with her and it has been for the past year and a half when I really started to pursue God in the area of relationships. Proverbs 13:12 describes best my heart:

'Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life'

... No matter the season that God is taking me through I do not waver I know I have to press on and keep going in Christ. It is the only thing that I can do.

I desire nothing but to be faithful to where God has called me to go now. It does not make it easy that I am pushing through times of just trying to see the Lord's will especially when it comes to Morgan. I want to be a 'man' and say I just push right through all of this but right now I am so weak. Physically weak from working 70-80 hours a week...weak from crying out to God and seeing my plans continually fade(which they need to fade)...weak from not getting enough sleep...weak from the process of conforming my will to Gods...just weak.

Lord God, I ask you to meet me...help me understand how your strength is made perfect in weakness....amen

proud of my dad

Sorry there has been a long time between posts. I hope that this infrequent blogging hasnt deterred people from checking the blog.

Anyways I wanted to share an article about my dad becoming the President of the Medical Society of Virginia. Its a huge honor for him and a testimony that you can gain a platform for Jesus through hard work and consistent service towards others.

Dr. Eppes to become President of the Medical Society of Virginia

living to impact

The church I have been attending here has started a series called 'LiveToImpact.tv' with the website and everything. Today they talked about what it means to really impact this world with the commandment sharing your faith.

Jesus gives it to us clear to 'Go and preach to all nations..'...we must GO. Its a commandment and not just something we do from time to time. If there is no fear in this you are not human because this is what really develops your faith when you test it and try it.

I was convicted on several levels in the sermon including being focused in my pursuit of people and making relationships a priority here at FSU. I have found a few guys I can really start making that investment in and now its time to pursue and really seek to develop our communication about God.

Secondly, am I really making an effort to get to know our culture here in Tallahassee and really contextualize the gospel in to a way that people can understand it. I want this blog to be clear about my profession and conviction of living a life where its evident I am following Jesus but I want people to see it in a clear way. The pastor delivering the message talked of the character Angela form The Office and the point that she is very stuck up at times regarding her faith(not to mention her character is extremely hypocritical). But we cant be weird when it comes to Jesus. We gotta be real and talk of how evident and real He is in today's world. We have to live our relationships out loud and pray for the example we set as believers to scream salvation/redemption/forgiveness/grace/love/hope/ect....

'Years from now when we are telling our grandkids how we impacted this world will we tell them we spent hours on Facebook or that we have memorized hundreds of sports stats or that we watched great tv shows?' -Pastor Ross

...I pray that each of you reading this changes the way you have been doing things. We have to fight through this laziness and distraction that this world offers us and call upon the Spirit that doesnt make hesitant but bold.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity but one of power, love, and self-discipline.
-2 Timothy 1:7

flat out...I Love Jesus

I love Jesus so much....there is power that resides in Him....and its amazing to feel and know that He is soooo real...

this post sounds rambled and random probably but thats all I got tonight really....I love Him...He loves me....He went to death on a cross for me and that blows my freakin mind. He laid all of it down so that I might live. And you know what there is nothing that can separate me from that love...not one thing at all ever ever ever.

the words of Paul hit it perfectly....

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord
Romans 8:38-39

the gift of life

"And the LORD God formed man out of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." -Genesis 2:7


my friends from my time in Vail, Erin and Kevin Daly, just had their first baby(Asher Kai Daly)...how amazing is our God to give us life...and now He has chosen this boy to have life...just blows my mind to know that He has given us so much just with the simple blessing of bringing us in to his world

Brandon Heath and Batman

I was talking with my friend today Brandon Heath Knell about obedience. Its something we do, something we are, something we fight for. I told Brandon today that his music displays that to me. Its pretty awesome to know that along with his fame he still takes time for solid friendships and to encourage me and gives me a chance to let me know what God is revealing to Him in his walk.

We talked about a song that is one of my favs on the new album coming out on August 18 (go get it!!!! its called 'What If We') called 'When I'm Alone'. Its about needing Christ in all times but how we feel the need for Christ especially when we are alone and really trying to become the person God wants us to be. I know that in this time of living by myself here I need to make great decisions for Christ and I need to obey but at times I'm scared even though I know of the reward of faithfulness. I just ache to be with Christ....ache for everything to make sense.

I know this suffering of living alone and being in a new place is God working in me...For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. -2 Cor. 1:5 How crazy is that that the more we suffer the more we are comforted...its a call to continue despite pain, awkwardness, rejection...to press on. And I dont claim to be the most radical person for Christ in my sufferings but I am seeing that I need to embrace this suffering and push through it to obtain a reward greater than any other, for in Christ Jesus I am satisfied and this life is not lived in vain for He has washed me clean and declared me righteous.

I listened to a John Piper sermon on my drive down last week that talked about a huge problem with American Christians is that we do not embrace suffering for Christ as we should...as in we always look for a quick fix or other way out to ease the pain and not embrace the true suffering that Christ has intended for us to go through. I am at fault for that but now I am truly finding the ways to endure the cost of being a follower of Jesus. It was another reminder to me to continue to grow in Christ and embrace this life He has given me that I completely 100% do not deserve.

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I saw the new Batman today with my friend Jason Boothe who I interned with down in Miami with the Dolphins. There were a few Christian themes that caught my eye such as Batman taking the blame even though He did nothing wrong and making himself a sacrifice for Gotham. Also there was a line that said “Sometimes people need to have their faith rewarded” but in this movie it was faith in a lie. It still strikes me as the world searching for a savior...and hello worrrrrld He exiiiiiists His name is Jeeeeeesus. I know its a movie and it would be crazy to just tie the end in to a great gospel presentation but I pray for the people that watch this and still search for a reason to live and a reason to believe something.

John 14:6
I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

in Tallahassee

shewwww...after 2 days of driving I am here in Florida again safely...thank you all who prayed over my travel...its another feeling where I know I am outside whats comfortable to me...not to mention its so hot in my apartment! Just one AC unit that doesnt crank out much.

I met my boss today, Campo, and he showed me around Doak Campbell. Its really a great atmosphere and should be a great place to work facilities wise.

Last night I spent the night with Samkon Kaltho Gado. What an amazing friend God has blessed me with in Him. He is truly one of those people that I could go months without seeing but we see each other and we connect instantly in the most true form of fellowship. There arent many guys that I can say that about. Sam and I were privileged to meet one another in fellowship last year while both of us were with the Dolphins. We talked about this last night and will continue to do so forever that it was such an amazing time for us to have one another in South Florida along with the other guys in Tuff, Abraham, and Rod. We locked arms and went to battle together and really experienced a true piece of heaven together in fellowship.

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One plug I forgot to mention about my trip to Kansas City is my trip to IHOP. Not your regular ihop but the International House of Prayer....where they have LIVE praise and worship 24/7...seriously it was incredible to go. I went with a guy who used to be a Christian Counselor of mine named Ken Banks. In fact right now they are praising God in song and I am watching it live on the internet. For $10 a month you can have video streamed live to you of the worship whether its 1pm on Tuesday or 4am on Saturday they are praising God in song!!!....just amazing not to mention when I was there last week I saw a great friend Erica Grimaldi who was on my SPECIAL team at Ultimate Camp during the 2004 summer. Erica played basketball at Vanderbilt and was a baller! She has just returned from 10 months in Africa and is praying about what to do next. Lift her up please...

I will be trying out two new churches tomorrow so I must be getting some rest...



Jesus you are so good to me...I dont deserve this grace at all

I trust you Lord...

tonight was all over the map.

God gave myself and my fellowship here in town a powerful last night of prayer and surrender as we prayed for nearly 40 minutes for God to be in our lives and requests in crazy spirit-filled ways. Our amazing God showed up in a tremendous way and I know we walked out of that house changed by the living God.

On the other side of town my step mom Cathy is struggling through a group intervention where her pride and lack of trust in Christ to carry the burden of her past weighs her down in to a deep dark place of pain and alcoholism....it hurts me so deep to see someone struggle in this but its a crystal clear example of what happens when we resist taking the yoke of Christ. So as of Sunday she will be moving to our family condo just 5 minutes away from our house now...God we cry out to you to break down the walls in her heart and help her cry out to you....

It hurts me to see my dad going through this but we both reach the same point at the end of tonight...God has a plan for this...He chose us...and He will not leave us...ever.
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The past couple weeks have been tough and amazing at the same time. I go through anxieties and worrying but God just calms my heart and lets me know He is here and my portion...I reach deep and uncover sin thats been in the dark for a long time and God helps me to confess it and gives me an incredible and gracious response. God has been showing up in my life and I praise Him for it....Lord you are sooo real...so amazing. So many examples in the past few weeks: encouragement from countless people at the Littleton wedding including John Hardie, Kevin, Hoss and Emily, Ray Littleton, Cam Young...and then God having a sister in Christ overhear my conversation about God's love to someone on a flight last week and then after handing a couple verses from Romans 8 she looks at me in the face and tells me I am in God's favor.....brothers and sisters our God is REAL...

Cry out to Him tonight...shout it out if you have to but just get it out...let it all come forth to give Him glory because He so freakin deserves it.

Amazing King help me to praise you in every single season/day/moment of my life....you are worthy...you are Lord.



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finally an encouragement from God's word by my brother John Michael Payette tonight:

Galatians 6:7-9
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.